I’ve spent nearly 20 years in nutrition science. I lost 100 pounds myself. I built an entire business around helping women release weight. And it’s time to stop focusing on that.
The obsession with shrinking our bodies (constant dieting, tracking, measuring, shame…) is not coincidental. Somewhere along the way, society decided that women had to be small to be valued. This bar was CREATED. It’s not a natural bar, and it’s not a measure of health. Granted, it’s a contributor. But it can’t be the only focus.
Attractiveness is subjective. The quality and traits that are valued and considered beautiful vary across cultures, including body fat. Slender women are rated as more attractive in industrialized cultures, while plumpness is a sign of fertility and health in less developed societies. It is society that determines what traits are desirable based on their difficulty to obtain. In fact, evolutionarily plumpness would be desirable as a sign of energy availability.
By keeping us eating less and obsessed with shrinking our body size, society directs our energy and mental bandwidth away from the actual system. The one that tells us affordable childcare isn’t important but also tells us we need a job. The one that won’t give us healthcare but expects us to perform “wellness.” The one that dangles work-life balance like a carrot while making it structurally impossible. Weight obsession is a tool of the patriarchy, and I refuse to play that game.
My dream has always been to help women find their VITALITY. To help women be healthy, strong, and so full of energy they can chase whatever lights them up.
Your weight is not a character flaw. It is a coping mechanism you learned to survive. Your body adapted to conserve calories during times when that was the difference between life and death. That’s thousands of years of human survival doing exactly what it was designed to do.
Right now, your body is in balance. It’s the system that’s flawed. Your subconscious put that weight there for a reason. It might be protecting you from being seen because at some point in your life, you learned being visible wasn’t safe. It might be insulating you from emotions that felt too big to survive. It might even be physically sequestering toxins your body didn’t have the resources to process. The subconscious is running a protection program that made complete sense at some point in your history.
Food manufacturers have spent billions designing products that hijack your brain’s dopamine system and keep you locked in a cycle of wanting more. They even have a name for it: ‘bliss point’. It is the precise, engineered combination of sugar, fat, and salt that maximizes pleasure and triggers a dopamine response in the brain, making foods irresistible so you eat more. It’s biology being exploited for profits.
And now GLP-1 medications are a new industry cashing in. They are being handed out like they’re the finish line. Chasing thinness at any cost is not health. It’s the same war on women’s bodies. I’m not against these medications existing. I’m against the idea that shrinking yourself as fast as possible without addressing WHY your body held that weight, healing the emotional patterns, or rebuilding your relationship with food is a solution. It’s just a more expensive way to stay disconnected from yourself.
We live in a time of stunning abundance, and our ancient wiring is not prepared. We have been designed for survival through scarcity. We aren’t meant for unending abundance and your health may show it unless you know how to side-step the system. This is how weight became a status symbol. Like “The Sneetches” with their stars to signal status, we have thinness. It’s the same story, different costume.
When you release the emotional grip food has on you, heal your relationship with your body, you can decide from a place of true freedom what feels right for you. And whether you choose to release weight or not, you are valuable. At this exact size right now. It’s not up for debate.
It’s about choosing to love yourself regardless of your size. It’s choosing vitality and curiosity, and joy. It’s about have fun trying new foods, new supplements, new ways of moving your body… because it feels good! And you are LUCKY to be alive and have so many options.
This is what is has to be about. It can’t be about “weight loss” because your subconscious mind doesn’t like losing things at all. Loss triggers fear. Loss signals danger. And your subconscious doesn’t sit around making fine distinctions between losing your keys, losing a relationship, and losing weight. It registers LOSS, and it braces. So when you go to war with your body and demand that it “lose” the weight, your subconscious hears ‘give up protection’. And it fights back.
This is why willpower fails. Because you were fighting your own deepest survival programming.
The work I do is different. Instead of forcing, we get curious. We get to know WHY the subconscious chose this particular protection, and then (gently, without shame) we remind it that you now have other resources. You are not the child who needed to disappear to stay safe. You are not the teenager who had no tools for the emotions crashing through you. You are a grown woman with skills, awareness, and support. You can handle visibility now. You can feel your feelings now without being swallowed by them.
Just last week, I was in a difficult situation with my coaching partner. Our dynamic was bringing up old fears of not being good enough, rejection, and expectations of perfection. The kind of feelings that used to send me straight to the kitchen without even knowing why. The old me wouldn’t even have recognized why she was eating. That’s how unconscious it was. The new me didn’t even consider eating. Instead, I sat with what I was feeling. I journaled. I went into my body and looked for where the emotion was living and what it felt like. I asked it what it needed and for wisdom. And I discovered that my feelings about the other person were really fears about myself. I was worried I wasn’t going to be good enough. I had to find acceptance and let go of what I couldn’t control, because I can only hold my side of a container. I can’t hold both sides.
That is what an upgraded nervous system looks like. It’s not about all good days, its about being RESOURCED. It’s about being connected to your body so that you can feel, learn and move through those things without food even entering the equation.
When you’ve upgraded your protection systems, your subconscious resistance softens and lasting change becomes possible.
That’s why we don’t ‘lose weight’ here. We RELEASE it. Because it just happens when you no longer need it to survive. The vision is about being vibrantly healthy and alive, so you can be in your full power.
If all this resonates with you, join the tribe! And if you want my help, book a call.
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