In the book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, T. Harv Eker says that you can know everything about investing, sales, and finance. But if your money blueprint isn’t set for wealth, you’ll never have a lot of money. And if you do somehow get it, you’ll most likely lose it.
He explains that the subconscious programming ingrained in your mind (he calls your “money blueprint”) determines your financial destiny more than anything else. Just like money, your subconscious programming also determines your health.
You can know everything about nutrition, have a master’s degree in nutritional biochemistry, try every diet, and still be 100 pounds overweight (because I was!).
Because its mostly NOT about food. Until you change the the subconscious programming underneath, it’s nearly impossible to keep the weight off. You might lose it temporarily, but it comes back. Your subconscious is using food to protect you (maybe you think you aren’t good enough, or unloveable, or you will lose your tribe, or you fear starvation…). And until you rewrite that program, your behavior will keep following the old instructions.
If you want to lasting change, you have to first change what’s underneath.
Your weight isn’t a food problem. Most of us know WHAT we should be eating! It’s all the emotional baggage and beliefs you are bringing to the table. It’s an identity problem.
And just like Eker teaches people to reset their money blueprints, I’m going to show you how to reset your vitality codes so that health, energy, and freedom become natural and automatic.
I have identified 10 fundamental differences between empowered women who transform health permanently and struggling women who stay stuck in the diet cycle. Unlocking these Vitality Codes is your key to finally taking control over food:
Vitality Code #1: Life Creation
Empowered women know they create their own health, while struggling women believe they are at the mercy of genetics and environment.
For years, I truly believed my weight was something that happened to me. “It’s my genetics and my metabolism, my whole family struggles with weight.” “How can I find time with my job and kids?” I was a victim.
But in my healing journey, I discovered my overeating was actually a protective mechanism my younger self created to feel safe, loved, and in control. My body wasn’t flawed, it was trying to protect me like it always had.
When I realized I had been unconsciously creating my reality through my beliefs and unhealed wounds, the uncontrollable eating shifted. I stopped feeling powerless and started finding new ways to meet those needs.
Research shows that epigenetics (the effect of the environment on your genetics) is more important than genetics. And your empowering thoughts and beliefs are one of the most important parts of that. Your body isn’t happening to you, you are creating it through your beliefs and actions.
Vitality Code #2: Vision
Empowered women think about feeling healthy so they have the energy and stamina for the life they want to live, while struggling women think about losing weight.
I spent most of my life trying to lose weight. But what we give our attention to grows. So when we focus on “losing weight”, we stay trapped in that cycle. So is “losing weight” where you want to be? Or do you want it to be bigger?
Instead of focusing your attention and GROWING the obstacle, when we put our attention on what you will DO with all that extra energy and health releasing weight becomes just a stepping stone to what’s next. The obstacle of your weight shrinks (and so do you!).
What do you want to DO with a vibrant body? How do you want to FEEL when you wake up? What experiences are you creating this health FOR?
The weight finally came off for me when I stopped caring. I started eating to live instead of living to eat. I wanted the energy to hike mountains, the stamina to build my business, the vitality to show up powerfully for the work I’m meant to do in the world. I wanted to change the world and help other women out of this pain, not just “be smaller”.
When you’re running TOWARD the life you want instead of running AWAY from weight, the journey gets exciting. And releasing weight is just one of the side effects.
Vitality Code #3: Growth Mindset
Empowered women practice listening to feelings and trying things, viewing each opportunity as learning. Struggling women maintain the status quo.
I’m a registered dietitian with a master’s degree in nutritional biochemistry. I “should” have known how to lose weight. The fact that I didn’t felt like proof that something was fundamentally wrong with ME.
Every setback felt like proof that I was flawed. Then I would try harder, which made me even more miserable… and now I need more food to avoid that misery.
It took my life breaking down in divorce for me to start experimenting. What does my inner child need? My saboteur? My Queen? Where in my timeline did I learn that emotions are something to fear? What was I actually craving? What can I learn from this? And this inner work was what unlocked the transformation that my nutrition knowledge couldn’t create.
Growth means forever learning. Ask yourself: “Where and when did I learn that? What does my inner child need today? What wisdom does my intuition want to share?
It’s not about buckling down harder, it’s about being curious and trying new things. You don’t need to know everything. You just need to ask yourself some questions and experiment. That’s the fun of being ALIVE!
Vitality Code #4: Whole-Body Worth
Empowered women know all aspects of themselves are worthy, making time to care for and nourish themselves fully. Struggling women reject parts of themselves as ‘bad’, focusing on what needs to be fixed and putting other people’s needs above their own.
I have parts of myself that I have hated. I get in trouble for being too aggressive fairly frequently, and I have a lot of judgement around having needs. I spent years making myself quieter, sweeter, and hoping for attention (dating, in particular, brings all this to the forefront!). I thought if I could just hide these parts, I could be loved.
But when you hate parts of yourself, you devalue yourself. Your needs fall lower on the priority list. And it takes energy to keep them locked away. You find yourself leaning on food for energy and comfort. You wear yourself out for other people, leaving no time for yourself.
When you change your view to embrace ALL the parts of yourself, you no longer have to lean on food as hard. Think of yourself as a mosaic. It’s not just the shiny gold pieces that are important, the dark and broken ones are just as essential to the whole. In fact, they make the whole thing even MORE beautiful.
My feral wolf was actually self-advocacy. My neediness was simply being human. These weren’t flaws, they were part of my wholeness. It is the complexity that makes each one of us extraordinary. Think how boring chocolate would be if it were only sweet? It’s the bitter notes that make it dance on your tongue.
When you welcome ALL the parts of yourself, you start claiming your full power. You stop putting everyone else’s needs first while ignoring your own. You give yourself permission to rest, to play, and to care for yourself. Because your needs are just as important as everyone else’s.
Vitality Code #5: Abundance
Empowered women focus on what nourishes them (healthy food, movement, friendships, etc.), while struggling women focus on what they don’t/can’t have.
When you focus on what you can’t have, it only makes you want it MORE! This is exactly what creates the diet cycle. You restrict for a few days or months, only to have a bad day and binge on potato chips or ice cream.
But who said potato chips and ice cream are something to desire? Who said that not having them means missing out? Are potato chips really essential to LIFE? They may light up the dopamine receptors in your brain, but how does your body actually feel?
The health and freedom comes from shifting your focus from “can’t have” restriction to the amazing abundance of healthy foods (and non-foods!) you get to enjoy. What foods make me feel amazing? What movement feels good in my body? Is there a new activity I can try? It’s about retraining your brain to look for the positives.
Vegetables are not boring “diet food” but as an incredible array of colors, textures, and flavors (over 25,000 different phytonutrient compounds that support my cells and strengthen my body!). I made it a game to eat 30 different plant types per week (yes, spices count!). I looked for joy in movement that energized me, friendships, and the beauty of nature surrounding me.
Abundance isn’t about having more. It’s about SEEING what’s already here. When you focus on the plenty instead of the lack, you stop feeling deprived. Because there is no void. There is overflow all around you.
Vitality Code #6: Earth Connection
Empowered women see food as a gift from the earth, while struggling women see food as calories or the enemy.
So often you can get caught up thinking of food as a number: calories, macros, points, grams. An equation you have to solve, a test you pass or fail. Or worse, it can become the enemy. Something you have to control.
But in reality food is a celebration in the miracle of life. A sacred GIFT FROM THE EARTH. It is plants that grew from seeds, touched by rain and sun, tended by hands, offered by the planet to sustain life.
Do you know grocery stores have only been around since the 1950’s? Our food doesn’t come “from the store” wrapped in plastic. It was somewhere before that. When you remember that, you eat differently. Slower, and with more connection to spirit. Eating becomes communion with nature, not war.
When you eat, do you grab something mindless designed to hijack your mind and power so you buy more, or do you celebrate the magical alchemy of nature and fire and honor your body with wild powerful food medicine?
When you honor food as a gift, you savor it more. You choose foods that make you feel alive. You notice how the food feels in your body. You naturally eat more slowly and stop when you’re satisfied.
Each time you eat, ask yourself: Are you honoring yourself and the earth? By strengthening this connection, food becomes joyful again. The fear goes away.
Vitality Code #7: Receiving
Empowered women allow themselves to receive offers of help, gifts, pleasure, nourishment, love, care, and all the abundance the Universe has to offer, while struggling women feel guilty receiving.
When I first started my job, I was anxious to prove my worth, so I offered help to everyone: work problems, personal health issues, anything. At first it felt good to be needed, but eventually it became too much. I developed a prickly attitude to keep people away, which harmed my reputation. I had nothing left.
While I could give to others, RECEIVING was really hard for me (I’m better now, but it’s still hard!). When people offered help, a part of me felt threatened like they were saying I couldn’t do it myself. Didn’t they see that I was a competent, independent woman?
When you can’t receive, you drain yourself empty. You’ll try to fill yourself up with food. But food can’t carry everything. It was never meant to. Most of your hunger can’t even be satisfied with food.
And people actually LIKE to give (I like to give too!). So you are giving them a gift when you allow yourself to receive. When we refuse help, deflect compliments, or insist on doing everything ourselves, we’re actually denying others the joy and fulfillment that comes from caring for someone. People WANT to feel useful. And by allowing these small acts of care you are building deeper connection.
The more you open yourself to receiving pleasure, help, and nourishment at ALL levels, the less you need food to refill yourself. The fullness comes from LIFE itself.
Vitality Code #8: Community
Empowered women surround themselves with supportive growth-oriented people and admire the radiance in other women, while struggling women look for commiseration and feel jealous of other women’s success.
For years, when I saw healthy, radiant women, I felt that sharp pain of jealousy. “Must be nice for her. She’s so lucky.” Their light seemed to highlight my failure. So I either looked away or sought out women who would commiserate with me “It’s too hard. There’s no way to succeed.”
But that is staying a victim. That is staying stuck.
True transformation requires a different mindset. It requires support. I started hiring empowered women coaches who had figured different pieces out. And making friends who were building their dreams. Women who showed me what was possible.
Relationships enrich our lives, helping us be more resilient during difficult times.
Our “tribe” fills our ancient hunger for connection and support, allowing us to fly higher and rely less on old coping methods like comfort eating.
Now when I see a vibrant, healthy woman, I think: “She’s proof of what can be. She’s showing me the path.”
Fire feeds fire. When you bring your small flame close to someone else’s bright flame, both flames grow LARGER.
None of us can do it alone. But each one of us is a small flame, with our own unique wisdom and way of caring. And when we know our value and honor our boundaries, we have the confidence and bandwidth to inspire and support each other. And through this, we can all dream bigger and lean on food less.
Vitality Code #9: Self-Advocacy
Empowered women honor their energy and needs unapologetically, while struggling women think setting boundaries is selfish and neglect themselves until they crash.
I used to run myself into the ground proving my worth with hard work and over-giving. I believed my value was measured by how many hours I contributed and meeting everyone’s needs. Like so many women, I worried that if I said “no” people wouldn’t like me.
Then I’d crash at the end of the day, depleted and desperate, binge eating because I was EXHAUSTED and needed a bit of comfort.
But you don’t have to prove your value. And what you create and offer is so much richer when you pour from a full cup instead of an empty one.
Ask yourself: What would you need to refill your cup? Is it a few minutes of journaling in the morning? Is it going to the gym? Meal prep on Sundays? Then, grab this time for yourself now, rather than waiting for a spot in your schedule to open up. Your needs are just as important as everyone else’s.
Setting boundaries isn’t selfish, it’s how you you ensure you have the richness and resources for others AND yourself. Being able to do this comes from recognizing its importance. Instead of guilt, boundaries become powerful. Then, you can say “no” with the same unwavering conviction and confidence you’d use to protect a child.
When you maintain boundaries and act as the gatekeeper of your energy and time, you don’t need to rely so much on food for quick-energy or comfort anymore. And you give from overflow instead of depletion, which feels better for everyone.
Vitality Code #10: Commitment Through Challenges
Empowered women continue to move forward towards their dreams despite fear, judgment, challenges, or setbacks, while struggling women let fear keep them stuck in old patterns and give up when they hit a bad day.
For years, one “bad” day would send me spiraling back to the start. One cookie became the whole box because “I already ruined it.” One missed workout meant “I’ve fallen off the wagon.” I kept starting over, but never really making real progress.
But one challenging day isn’t the “end” and you don’t have to start over (or give up and eat all the cookies). The path is SUPPOSED to wind. Just keep going.
I didn’t know when I finally started doing the deep healing work, that this would be the solution. And I still don’t know what’s going to happen with my business! But I keep walking despite the fear.
Each time you take a step forward, you get stronger. Maybe it works and you make progress… or maybe it doesn’t and you learn something. Every time you carry on through a setback instead of quitting, you rewire your brain: I am strong! I am resilient! I love learning! I can do hard things!
Fear isn’t a stop sign. It’s a compass pointing toward your growth edge. Because your success is outside your comfort zone over there.
These 10 Vitality Codes are the shifts I used to lose 100 pounds and keep it off for good. They’re the framework I now teach women who are tired of dieting and ready for transformation.
Your weight isn’t a food problem. You can follow every diet perfectly and know all the science. But if your subconscious is still running the “struggling woman” program, the weight will come back.
Change your inner codes, and your outer reality follows.
These codes are how you shift from struggling to empowered. How you transform your IDENTITY to change your thoughts and actions. And then the weight releases naturally.
If you are ready to rewrite your Vitality Codes, the RELEASE self-hypnosis library offers a step-by-step program designed to do just this!
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