For the past few days I have been comforting myself with memories of my son as a baby. I just dropped him off at college. All my friends are posting pictures on Facebook, but he wouldn’t let me take them as he rushed me out the door in his excitement. To all the new empty nesters, the next few weeks might be hard… and then is your chance to create the vibrant, juicy life that has been waiting for you!
At 51, I am a little more than half-way through my life. I am struck by the different ways people choose to view our remaining years:
- Past-focused: reliving treasured memories as they wind down
- Present-focused: finding the moments of delight in the “Now”. As I’m guessing you know, enlightened souls like to remind us that’s actually all we have.
- Future-focused: working towards building a life with more meaning and legacy.
My memories of my kids and my 20’s were good, but it is the joy of today and creating a future of possibilities that excites me. It’s what keeps me moving forward step by step every day.
Viktor Frankl taught that a meaningful life comes from finding purpose through creative values (achieving something), experiential values (experiencing something or someone), and attitudinal values (choosing one’s attitude toward unavoidable suffering):
- Creative Values: This involves finding meaning through work, deeds, or creating something unique. It’s about leaving a mark on the world, whether through a grand achievement or a simple act of kindness.
- Experiential Values: Meaning can also be found in experiencing something beautiful or encountering someone, often through love. This involves immersing oneself in the world and deeply connecting with others.
The only limitation to your dreams are your own limiting beliefs. When i came up my dream to start a business helping people get healthier, I was a scientist with limited people skills. I didn’t know how to run a business and I didn’t actually know how to help people all that well. When I look back on how much that 6-year younger Juniper had to learn, I don’t think I would have started.
Its been a step by step journey. And it all starts with discomfort.
“I had to make you uncomfortable, otherwise you never would’ve moved” -The Universe
It was discomfort with my picture (and my ankles) that made me take my first step – getting hypnosis and following a modified ketogenic diet. Next, I had to find my own value. I had to learn that I deserve taking care of myself, along with everyone and everything else. That is how you find the strength to make the space for yourself.
Next step is to create the dream. Of course you can’t imagine all of it yet… You won’t know how it unfolds until you start taking steps.
THEN, you have to move forward because an idea is nothing until you start taking action. It starts taking shape with that first step. If you are having resistance to that first action step, let’s dig in.
Change can be exciting, but often brings to the surface hidden fear. You current place is safe… but outside your comfort zone is everything you have ever wanted.
You might have fear about staying the same AND fear about having to do something that seems really hard. This inner conflict is completely normal.
You WANT to expand, grow, and step into your full potential. However, your personal self thrives in comfort and familiarity, and may resist this expansion – fearing the unknown and the challenges that come with it.
In my business, I have fear I won’t be able to handle the responsibilities of more clients while also having fear that my business will not grow! So I can either find peace with where I am OR expand my mindset around change. Because its not doing anyone any good to just be unhappy with both scenarios!
So, do you want to stay the same or do you want change?
Imagine a recent moment where you overate. Bring that moment to mind, and without judgement ask yourself what were the emotions underneath?
Did you feel:
- Powerless → Victim
- Defiant → Rebel
- Anxious/critical → Perfectionist
- Guilty/obligated → People-Pleaser
- Hopeless → Cynic/Skeptic
- Impulsive/urgent → Shadow Child
These are shadows that pop up when we attempt to change. Now, close your eyes and step into your Queen self for a moment. How would your Queen respond to the situation in a way that honors her body and her future?
By acknowledging your internal blocks and triggers, you can begin to dissolve the barriers standing between you and your dreams. Because the clearer you get, the more easily you can manifest your dreams without anything muddying up the water.
A part of the journey is learning to hear your intuition as a guide. When I started my business teaches health classes, I wasn’t even sure what the topics would be. I taught a class on anxiety, then self-love and joy. Step-by-step I got clearer on my message. The idea to help people heal their weight struggles came later, when I realized it was something I had done myself and could help others.
This is where following the guidance of my intuition became critical. It gradually led me to my purpose, which is not teaching people how to lose weight but rather to find people struggling like I had been and help them expand into a bigger bolder life with more joy than food could ever bring. (Yes, this means the weight releases, but that’s just a bonus!)
It’s been another few years learning the tools to do this, and attempting to communicate it clearly. And what a journey it’s been. I am so different today from the woman I was six years ago, so much wiser and joyful, with more to come.
So… are you feeling the discomfort? What’s your dream?
Are you ready to take a step?
References
- Tolle, Eckhart. 1999. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Novato, Calif.: New World Library.
- Frankl, Viktor. Man’s Search for Meaning: An Introduction to Logotherapy (Boston: Beacon Press, 1962)
- Lindenbaum, Joanna. Meet the Resistance Archetypes! [Podcast episode]. The Coaching r(E)volution Podcast, Applied Depth Institute. Retrieved from Applied Depth Institute website Applied Depth Institute.
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