Growing up I was a couch potato. I tried playing basketball but I was not coordinated and scared of the ball. I did a mediocre job at gymnastics and dance classes, where at least I didn’t have team members relying on my abilities. Reading allowed me to escape into a fantasy world. When I had the choice to be in a fantasy world or constantly reminded of my lack of physical abilities, I choose fantasy every time.
School came easy to me, and I got good grades without effort. The concept of “grit” had not yet been coined, and I took to heart my efforts in school as proof of my value. I kept my head down and focused on what was easy to avoid risking failure. For the next many decades, my life revolved around my intelligence and my work ethic. Those were the parts of me that I deemed valuable, and that the people around me deemed valuable. I did belong to a gym, but I treated it as a punishment.
My 30’s were spent raising kids and working hard. I proved myself at work and steadily accomplished more, while racing home to kids at night. A solid success of my work ethic and ability to multi-task.
Then my marriage ended. Looking back I can see how easy it is to focus on work and kids. With my ex co-parenting the kids, I had the first free time in decades, and I had no idea what to do. I needed to be out of the house when he was there with the kids, so I started doing yoga. What I liked best about yoga was that it was fairly easy since my body has always been flexible. What I eventually loved about yoga is that it pushed me outside my head and into my body. When a pose is tricky enough, your mind has to focus on just the pose. Its not about whether you can do the pose, it’s actually just about trying something so complicated your mind can’t focus on anything else. For the first time I focused on being in my body instead of my head, and as a bonus, I got strong.
When the world shut down in pandemic, I was near the end of a 200-hour yoga teacher training. We switched to online classes, but it was not the same. I searched for what else I could do. I have always hated running, but when a friend invited me for a run around the neighborhood I reluctantly agreed. Those early days of pandemic were bleak isolated times and I was desperate for social interaction. This was week 2 of the shut down. We met up at the end of my driveway and slowly ran the 2.5 mile loop, breaking regularly to walk.
We met to run every day that week, and then the next. I was already strong from the yoga, so it wasn’t quite the uphill battle it might have been. But I have also finally started to recognize that something being challenging does not necessarily mean it should be given up. It’s the failure that makes us grow. When my body is moving easily and not complaining it is operating as normal, but when my body tells me to stop and I keep going it is forced to go beyond normal. When we push ourselves, we are training our bodies to grow stronger. When we meditate even though we don’t want to, or force our attention back on the meditation when it wanders off, we are training ourselves to focus and remain calm. It is the failure and re-training that makes us strong.
Now, 3 years later, I continue to run this loop almost every day. People think I am crazy when I am out there in the snow, but I don’t think I can stop at this point — my body and mind have come to crave it for so many reasons:
1) Joy — The feeling of being outside and away from my desk for 30 minutes, the sun and breeze on my face, exhilaration when I get past the uphill section and its “all downhill from here”
2) Reward — I don’t get food until after my run (and sometimes I am HUNGRY!) Also, I only get to listen to my “dance run” playlist when I am running
3) Growth mindset — There are still moments on the run that are hard. The first few minutes, and that last steep uphill section, but I remind myself that pushing through is how I am growing stronger.
4) Bribery — I tell myself I can go slow and/or stop anytime. Every few minutes my body begs to stop and my brain asks if I can go 1–2 more minutes? Yes, I tell myself, but THEN I can stop.
5) Strength — While I run I marvel at what my body can do. I take long strides like a gazelle. I feel the strength in my legs as I power through the uphill section
6) Mental Health — The endorphin rush I feel at the end knowing I am getting stronger, and it’s over until tomorrow. Also, running keeps my mood higher and my appetite in check
7) Accountability — I run sometimes with my neighbor and we keep each other going. Sometimes I don’t want to run with her because she won’t let me stop and sometimes I appreciate the distraction as we talk about our day
8) Longevity — Research has shown that mild stress activates anti-aging cellular repair. Movement has been associated with longevity, but I throw in an occasional sprint as extra challenge. I tell myself that winter running is particularly good because it’s cold, some might say like an ice bath. By the end of the run the windbreaker is off and I’m running in a T shirt. Running in the winter gives one more longevity bonus: you are forced to wait until midday when the temperature is at its warmest, so if you don’t eat until after your run you have built-in intermittent fasting!
There are so many reasons I run. The first minute or two feels hard and achy, and then somehow I switch out of my head. I feel the sun and breeze on my face, I listen to my music, and I marvel at what my body can do. When I finish, the endorphins remind me that I am strong and powerful.
© COPYRIGHT 2023 JUICY JUNIPER
Vibrant Juicy Life Blog 